A Cultivated Propensity Toward Forgiveness

"As a Christian matures, he will just naturally forgive those around him all the time. It will become an unconscious and yet true attitude. Instead of focusing on what people owe him, he will remember how much he owes Christ who forgave him of such a great debt." ~Paul Bucknell

As Christians who stand before God, we owe each other love, forgiveness and compassion. I might also commend that a Christian maintain this same attitude toward non-believers, just to make dealing with ungodly persons more bearable and to aid in evangelism.

As a Christian expectation of other believers, we should expect nothing. We should not consider that anyone owes us anything. Each of us is accountable to God for our management of responsibilities, our reactions and our attitudes. We cannot assume control over the reactions and choices of others. Imagine the freedom from anxiety this perspective creates.

Harvesting this attitude will decrease one's ability to allow bitterness to take a foothold. When a bitter thought enters the mind, immediately attach forgiveness to it and let it slip out of focus. Then you will be free to serve the other person and afterwards rejoice that God has demonstrated such a wonderful work of forgiveness and contentment in you - that you have been made more like Christ.

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender - hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
Ephesians 4:31-32

Forgive Because You've Been Forgiven

There is no better way to harbor bitterness than to nurse an attitude of unforgiveness.

There is no clearer demonstration of an unrepentant person

than that he or she always bears a grudge.

Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other,

just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

Ephesians 4:30-32

So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you,

so also should you.

Colossians 3:12-13

Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

“For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. But since he did not have the means to repay, his lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made. So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.’ And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt. But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe.’ So his fellow slave fell to the ground andbegan to plead with him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you.’ But he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed. So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their lord all that had happened. Then summoning him, his lord said to him, ‘You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?’ And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him. My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.”

Matthew 18:21-35

Two Thoughts From Today

First, briefly, I am considering seriously buffering the "clean" entertainment I watch. We don't have cable TV; we hardly ever turn the TV on actually. But I love movies! The reason I'm even mildly considering forsaking all movies is because after watching them, I tend to become very discontent about my appearance, my circumstances, my life-choices, etc., just very self-centered in general. Some movies don't have this effect on me (like Lord of the Rings, for example), but others, many others do. For example: The Princess Diaries is a very cute, clean movie that morals the acceptance of our destined duties. However, after watching it my attitude is completely discontent: I want to be prettier; I want to be thinner; I want to be a princess. My desires have changed from being focused on my God-given, divinely ordered role in worshiping God, submitting to my husband and raising my children, to that of the world, which is the heart of idolatry.

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:2

The chief end of man is to glorify God by enjoying Him forever.

You shall fear the Lord your God; and you shall worship Him and swear by His name. You shall not follow other gods, any of the gods of the peoples who surround you
Deuteronomy 6:13-14

Second, 1 Corithians 13 has convicted me for some time after reading the post on Pursuing Titus 2: Losing Patience, Losing Love. If I am deficient in any of these particulars that describe and define love, I am being unloving.

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrigteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails . . .
1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Sometimes it helps to write things in the opposite, negative way to help define what it is and what it is not. Love is not easily angered, love is not mean, love does not hoard it's own resources but is generous, etc. Today I have mostly considered "it does not take into account a wrong suffered". When someone mistreats me, accuses me, disrespects me, ignores me, etc. don't I remember that? Even when I want to forget, I can't. Sometimes intentionally or unintentionally I use that as a platform to harbor an unforgiving heart of bitterness toward that person, but not always.

But this was my other thought, what if the "wrong suffered" really caused hurt, not necessarily that which leads to bitterness and resentment - but you desire to forgive, but you are not able to "forget" because it just hurts? I guess the only response I can think of is to act loving, though the 'feeling' isn't there, simply out of obedience to the Word and perhaps the healing will follow through the course of time. Trust must always be built back and earned, if it was lost but I suppose the spirit of forgiveness must prevail.

Easily Angered

A great source of my contentions is a heart inclined to easily get angry.  Oftentimes, I get angry about the littlest things throughout the day and as the heat of my anger increases I begin to snap back irritated responses, nag and complain.  It is so easy to get angry when my heart is full of self-centeredness.  

"Be angry and yet, do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, nor give the devil an opportunity."  Ephesians 4:26-27

The opportunities the devil takes with my anger begin with unforgiveness, selfishness, bitter thoughts, disrespect, self-centeredness, and all kinds of unwholesome thoughts and speech.  These are the fruits of my unrighteous anger; the sin that leads to death.  There is no peace in these things and there is definitely no joy from this contentious attitude.  Peace and joy come only from Christ, being completely satisfied in Him alone.  So, I repent and ask God to give me a gracious, grateful and forgiving heart.  I recall these verses at the end of Ephesians 4: 29-32 and remind myself of how much more God, in Christ, has forgiven me and I find freedom from contentious anger.

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.  Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.  Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

John Piper's sermon, "Battling the Unbelief of Bitterness," is an excellent resource.  Here's the link to read the transcript, watch or listen.  Click here.

Love Your Enemies

"But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Whoever hits you on the cheek, offer him the other also; and whoever takes away your coat, do not withhold your shirt from him either. Give to everyone who asks of you, and whoever takes away what is yours, do not demand it back. Treat others the same way you want them to treat you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. If you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners in order to receive back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. . . "

~Luke 6:27-36~

People do not often consider the fact that they have enemies. In this pluralistic, tolerance-preaching society, where the motto is, "Let's just all get along," individuals are always appealing to be liked by all different groups of people: homosexuals, heterosexuals, conservatives, liberals, moderates, socialists, capitalists, zealots, atheists, etc. Having enemies must be taboo. One of the lessons we've learned this past year has been to show love and mercy to our enemies. When you stand for Truth, which never compromises, enemies will appear from every corner. "Uncompromising men are easy to admire." You will have zealots in the opposite corner who will fight you tooth and nail on every issue under the sun, but they will respect you because you do not compromise.

What Christ teaches in this passage is the divine prescription for handling our enemies. Instead of giving in to the temptation to allow hate, anger, bitterness and strife fester in my heart, I can concentrate those efforts on prayer for the person and looking for opportunities to bless them when they are in need. Doing such things are not hypocritical when it is being obedient to God and I don't feel like doing good to my enemies. It also helps develop in my heart the willingness to forgive, should, if ever, my enemies repent and ask for forgiveness. Holding grudges is not biblical either and no unforgiving person will enter the gates of Heaven - we would be similarly unjust as the "Unforgiving Servant" in Matthew 18:21-35. Believers have the opportunity, having been freed from sin, to take the higher road. We must look to Christ's example, who is willing to forgive unrighteous sinners, but by no means allows unrepentant sinners to enter Heaven. The Word is sufficient for all our troubles.