Kid or Kindle?

There's a daycare located very close to our home that has a sign posted advertising the current special, "Enroll Now.  Free Kindle."

Now for those parents who use daycare and read a lot, this deal might be very appealing.

But for parents like my husband and I, we have to say, "Really?!  Are you serious?"

Let's take a moment to compare: Our children are made in the image of God.  They were created with immortal souls and, Lord willing, will live for decades to come.  We hope our children will care for us as we age and deteriorate.

Not so with the Kindle.  It is an electronic device, a gadget, without an immortal soul and will likely not be functional in even 10 years. 

So, trading our child for a Kindle is a no-brainer for us.  Our child has an infinite, priceless value and a Kindle just cannot compare. 

If I give you my child in exchange for the Kindle, you will be the one caring for her and she will turn out to be more loyal to you than to me, her flesh and blood.  She will more likely reject the responsibility of caring for me in the years ahead to chase after selfish pursuits.  That daycare is not going to teach my child the values I deem are important, like the fear and admonition of the Lord Jesus Christ, familial loyalty, and the intended created purpose of women: to be bearers and nurtures of the next generation keeping the home.  That daycare may very well teach them to hate God and exalt man, like the public schools. 

You can keep the Kindle.  I'll keep my child.

A Legacy

While nursing yesterday I spoke with Jeramy on the phone while he was at work.  Moriah and Lily were sitting on the floor opposite me waiting patiently for me to finish.  When I hung up the phone Moriah asked me where Daddy was and I told her that he was at work.  Then she said, "When I grow up I'm not going to work."  I was a little curious at first and didn't respond immediately.  Then she quickly said, "I'm going to stay home and breastfeed babies."  Then Lily looked at me and said the same thing.  The conversation then turned to how many babies they were each going to have - how many boys and how many girls.  

This unprompted conversation really gave me a lot of encouragement.  As you can imagine, it is very difficult to stay home and raise four children four years old and younger.  I find it especially difficult because I was raised for a career, not motherhood.  Christ has redeemed me from that misplaced priority and brought me home with my children.  Feminism is antithetical to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  In the Gospel we find eternality and we raise the next generation with generations ahead in mind.  Feminism and the post-modern worldview of our day tells us to look out only for ourselves in our own lifetime.  The goals of personal peace and affluence die with you.  But God calls us to raise the next generation to love and fear Him so that for generations, people might love and fear Him.  Those expressed goals of my daughters let's me know that, although I fail often to exercise the fruits of the Spirit, there is something honorable and God-glorifying that I'm imparting to my children.

May Christ be praised!

Are You Living Dangerously?

 

Dangerous housewives are those women who have chosen to stay home and make great financial sacrifices to do so.  Dangerous housewives are those who rear their own children and use their education to better educate their own children within the home forsaking a personal career.  We raise up the next generation of taxpayers and voters with conservative values and morals.  This "choice" is one that the Democrats and feminists don't want you to choose. 

Read Dangerous Housewives HERE.

Misplaced Efforts of Manipulation

Coworkers, government officials, politicians, neighbors, husbands, children and even domestic animals . . .

There will always be someone or some behavior that we wish would change in the people around us. Our coworkers make crude sexual jokes in our presence. Our family members gossip about one another. Our neighbors allow their animals to parade around your yard. Our husbands won't fix or finish projects on our timetable. Our children are obstinate and rebellious. Our cat insists upon urinating on our couch. And these don't even begin to scratch the surface of things we would change if we could.

So we attempt to manipulate others by nagging, complaining, whining, giving the cold shoulder, expressing fear, maybe even throwing a temper tantrum. Some wives try to manipulate their husbands by withholding physical intimacy. Some husbands try to manipulate their wives by beating them. But in the end, all our efforts of manipulation are fruitless. Yes, we may win a battle or two here and there, but it will never change the person at whom it is directed.

Let's look at a common example of an unequally yoked marriage. In the case of a redeemed, believing wife and an unregenerate husband, there is nothing she can do to win the soul of her husband over to Christ. The Bible tells us that the woman, by her attitude and acts of service, her humility and chaste behavior, can be a means of grace by which the Lord might entice the heart of her husband to Christ. This is not a guarantee, but a general observation and very real possibility. If the woman tries to nag him, belittle him and otherwise tear him down by provoking him by her sinful actions, she is only perpetuating the problem. He will NEVER change. She will drive him further away from Christ and deeper into his idolatry and rebellion.

Her strategy is all wrong. She is acting out of selfishness and not out of love. She is more concerned about her reputation than she is about the soul of her husband and obedience to the Lord Jesus Christ. This is a very dangerous habit of sin. Not only will her actions reap judgment for herself, but also encourage the rebellion leading to eternal damnation for her husband! She is not representing Christ to her unsaved husband. The Bible tells us to "love our neighbors as ourselves." Your husband is your closest neighbor therefore, you are commanded to love him. And if you don't consider him your neighbor, but more like your enemy there is a verse for that too. "Love your enemies. Do good to them." Luke 6:27-36. Do enemies deserve love? No, they don't. But this is the commandment of God. Your faith in Christ is clearly seen by your ability to show love to unloveable people, just as Christ did. Love is not just a feeling of affection or sentimentality, but a willful, calculated decision to act on their behalf.

And consider the wife who has benefited from the love of God through Christ. "But God demonstrates his own love toward us in this, that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8 We didn't deserve the love of God and we certainly didn't deserve the atoning sacrifice of Christ on our behalf. We deserve hell, eternal condemnation, the wrath of God burning in unquenchable fire forever without relent. But Christ stepped in and took that for us in obedience to the Father! How amazing is His love and commitment toward His sheep! If, after receiving such a wonderful gift of grace, we are not urged to do the same, we are above all, hypocrites.

Love includes ceasing from perpetuating a sinful lifestyle. Let's say the husband weighs 800 pounds and is bedridden because of his obesity. The wife should not bring him the 10th helping of food as a means of submissive service to her husband! She's only making it worse! This is not an act of love. We are commanded to submit to our husbands out of reverence for Christ. This means that we submit to the man as long as what he asks is not disobeying the Lord. This works in lots of circumstances: when the husband tells his wife to bring him a drink of alcohol when he's already clearly drunk; when the husband tells his wife to hide the illegal drugs somewhere in the house and lie to the police; etc. Sometimes, the most loving thing a wife can do is to let the husband get into the trouble that he's caused himself. People do a lot of thinking when they're behind bars.

The Biblical response of the believing wife toward her unsaved husband in obedience to Christ is to remain with her husband, serve him and submit to him. She is not responsible for changing him, but she is responsible for her own actions and reactions. Unless SHE is willing to change her attitude and action toward him, she can NEVER hope that he will change either. This is the best way to "manipulate" those around us, by heaping burning coals on top of their heads. We do that through love, service and respect out of a motivation to please God through obedience. Manipulation is always out of a selfish, self-centered desire for our own pleasure. But if we resolve to serve our husbands and children out of a loving obedience to Christ, the impact will be more profound, more genuine, and more enduring. Choose this day whom you will serve: yourself or the Lord Jesus Christ.

Make-Up

Should a wife and mother wear make-up every day? Most would answer that it's up to the individual woman. Of course she has that freedom but is it practical?

The rigors of daily life can definitely wear on a made up face. Food gets splashed and thrown, perhaps she might perspire a bit, or rubs some off onto the children's clothes or her own.

About 50 years ago where Home Economics was still taught as a course in High School curriculum, the females were instructed to touch up their make-up and general appearance just before their husbands arrived home and greet him smiling at the door. The principle is to give the men someone pretty to look forward to upon entering their home.

After considering that I used to only wear make-up on Sundays for church, if I had time to do it, that I understood this homemaking premise. My husband leaves our home, when he would rather stay, to go to a job that consumes the best of his time and energy when he would rather work toward a self-sufficient homestead.

I am his wife. The woman of his choice. I am his favorite person. Shouldn't I give him something to look forward to when coming home? While he's at work, shouldn't he be thinking of me and not tempted by some other pretty young thing that walks by? Hanging on the wall in his office there are nice pictures of me and the children, all dolled up in dresses. Wouldn't it be discouraging, after seeing us at our best all day, to come home and find your mate all disheveled when you walk in the door from a long day at work? He went to work so that I don't have to leave the comfort and freedom of my home.

Besides the sacrifices made during the weekdays to provide for us, I consider that if someone important were to enter my home, I would be sure to look my best. Why not do the same for the only man who has ever called me his best friend? Even if I don't go out and my husband is home all day and we have no particular plans, why should he see me with a shaggy ponytail and sweat pants? Before getting married, would I have dressed that way knowing I would see him? No. So after being married, why should that change? I know that wearing make-up pleases him and it's my job, as his help mate, to do just that. Some days I wear less or more, but at least something that communicates that I care about my appearance for his sake. It's not a vain thing, it's a glory thing.

A 10-Year Project

This is Jeramy's gift to me for our 5th Wedding Anniversary. He designed the layout, even the script and flower design. He began this project about 10 years ago when he started looking for his future wife. He chose Proverbs 31 as the text for her character basis. He began this piece while dating one girl and when the relationship ended, he would cease from this project. Another prospective wife would enter the picture and work would resume. Likewise when that relationship ended, so did the work on this sewing project. And so on and so forth until after we married, he inserted my name. As our anniversary approached, he became determined to finish it. I asked him what his driving force behind this deadline was and he answered that in the 5 years we've been married, he has seen more of this passage to be true in my regard now than even before we married. (Sniff, sniff . . .) So then, it's finished and framed. Perhaps when we can afford to, we will have it professionally framed. But the sentiment is the most important for now.

Happy Anniversary, Honey!

Created To Be His Help Meet

This book by Debi Pearl of No Greater Joy ministries is intended for women desiring to have a joyful and glorious marriage.

I consider that this book works very well to target and address the wife's attitudes and responses to her husband. However the content is a somewhat watered down version of The Excellent Wife. The gimmicks in this book -- different text fonts, pictures, and lots of eye-catching pop outs -- turn me off.

There are many critical points with which I agree with Pearl. Throughout the work, Pearl is attempting to plea to women to change their attitudes and their responses to their husbands. Regardless of what kind of treatment the women receive from their husbands, as believers, we honor Christ when we honor our husbands, whether they believe or not. Our attitudes should be filled with joy, gratitude and appreciation for what he does do. When we serve and obey our husbands we do so as unto Christ.

Another strong point she makes is that our role as help meets is to come along side and help our husbands in the vocation to which they are called. This means that we are not to make our husbands pick up a vocation we would prefer for him or ourselves, but to aid him in what he is doing, in his dreams and aspirations. And she also makes a good point about each of our marriages being designed by God, that it is no mistake that you are with your husband even if you were in rebellion when you decided to wed. And therefore, you should serve him now as unto Christ.

My main criticism with this work is the interpretation of certain Scriptures. For example, at Creation Debi considers Satan to have fallen by the time God had completed the work of Creation and declared it all to be "very good." The Hebrew indicates that this phrase has a very strong particular emphasis to mean extremely good or perfect, without schism, fault or imperfection. How could God declare all of Creation (which includes the heavenly beings also) "very good" if Satan and 1/3 of the angels had already fallen by that time? In another instance, she states that Bathsheba was a cunning seductress looking for the perfect opportunity to lead vulnerable, near perfect King David astray when the Biblical text does not indicate anything of that sort. She is a very controversial Biblical figure, but to imply something that the text does not explicitly state is deceptive.

Because of this, the wise and discerned reader should take this work with a grain of salt.

The Excellent Wife is much more appropriate for the mature, wifely audience it's designed for. It is not filled with gimmicks. There is a more wholistic, nouthetic, Biblically systematic approach to the role of the woman in the context of marriage. The Excellent Wife can be a difficult read because it is convicting and rightly divides and applies the Scriptures. If you would like to read Excellent Wife, but feel that you need to wade a little before jumping off the diving board: read Help Meet. If you want to go straight for the deep end: read Excellent Wife. Both are convicting and both will basically say the same thing, but for many women The Excellent Wife is written with more straight talk and less filler. Previously I've heard mixed reviews from friends about Help Meet and nothing but praise and conviction about The Excellent Wife.

Yes, But Currently . . .

"I want to re-introduce you to Meggan, whom you've already heard play this morning. She is the daughter of Wanda Jackson, a beloved member of our church. Meggan received her Bachelor's degree in Violin Performance from George Mason University and her Master's in Music from The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY. She loves the Lord and has been a joy to meet. Please make her feel welcome as she comes again to bless us."

~applause~

Yes, all of that is true but my life is not defined by the schooling I completed 6 years ago. Currently, by God's grace, I serve my husband by keeping our home and educating our children. This is my true and perpetual calling as a woman, wife and mother. The business of marriage and family is much more important than a music education. This mission is my top priority behind which all other pursuits take a back seat. The vocational ministry I do in my home will endure for generations and echo throughout eternity. It doesn't stop if I break a finger or when I die.

A congregation may be touched in less than three minutes by playing a wooden box in a church building. The tones communicated through the sound system and reverberated off the walls can sway those souls toward Christ today and the event may be remembered for a few days or even a few weeks. But serving my family daily until age and decay dictates that I'm no longer able, will bear such a greater weight of glory than a temporary mastery of a wooden box whether that's over three minutes or thirty years.

It's a great testimony. Yes, I'm talented. Yes, I have cultivated that talent through acquiring many additional skills through countless hours of private instruction, practice and public performances. But, like a growing number of women, I have placed the Word of God and His charge to be a submissive wife and nurturing mother first and foremost over the constant attendance of a lifeless wooden box. This testimony demonstrates the grace of God, the power of Jesus Christ risen from the dead. Receiving the gift of faith unto salvation is a miraculous work. But a great number of women today who have been so blessed of God to receive it, still cling to feminist ideology when the Author and Perfecter of our faith has clearly shown in His Word what He desires for us as women to do. Women are challenged to be obedient to the Word in its entirety, not just in the passages that are agreeable or convenient and to embrace its truth with joy and conviction.

The glory of a career will always dull in comparison to the glory of children and grandchildren who walk in obedience to the LORD. When the days are difficult and the children put me at wits end, I look back and complain, "I'm talented, intelligent, articulate and well educated. I could have done this or that and been successful. Then I wouldn't be dealing with this right now." But then I remember how lonely I was. And I consider that I would be no better off than all of those other feminists who become grumpy, bitter, lonely old women who only have their "success" to keep them company at night. That "success" does not endure to the next generation - it ends at their retirement. Now they are purposeless and bored. They look back with regrets and a sense of hopelessness.

I don't want to be one of those women. I want to be obedient to Christ even if it stands in direct opposition to what society tells me I should be doing instead. I fear God, not the looks of disdain behind pointed fingers and whispered name-calling between critical gossips. God will vindicate me as He has for many other women who choose the same. It is a high and noble calling to embrace being a wife and mother. There are so many moments of joy - I wouldn't trade it for anything the musical or corporate world could offer. This is what those grumpy, bitter, lonely old women come to realize, but for many of them . . . it's too late.

When lying on my death bed, will I ask for my violin to provide comfort as I journey from this physical body to the spiritual realm? No! I will ask to be surrounded by the people that had the greatest impact on my life: my beloved husband, my precious children, my faithful mother and my brothers and sisters in Christ. This is a true statement you can take to the bank: Feminism is antithetical to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Here I stand. I can do no other. God help me.

~~~~~

In Matthew 6:24 Jesus said,

"No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money."

Nutrititious Meals Abound

This is why my girls place in the lower 50% percentile for weight when they have check-ups at the doctor's office . . .

because we eat healthy meals at home.

On today's plate: p.b. & j sandwiches, carrots with a dot of ranch dressing, and an apple. Shiphrah has a shredded cheddar cheese sandwich and applesauce.

Providing healthy meals is a parent's responsibility.

Definitely NOT Barbie!

For Christmas gifts, Moriah, Lily and Shiphrah each received a doll, specifically a Disney Toddler Princess Doll. Look how adorable they are! They are chubby and are built just like a toddler. They have chubby faces, arms, legs and even a little belly with modestly appropriate permanently affixed undergarments. And they each have lots of hair that little girls love to comb! I saw these on sale before Thanksgiving and decided to pick them up.

Some girls grow up playing with Barbies and as they begin to develop into young womanhood they wonder why they're not beautiful. Somewhere in their sub-conscience they think that all those traits that signify their humanity somehow mark them as ugly. I thought those same things too, "Why is my nose so wide? Why isn't my skin all the same color? Why aren't my hips more pronounced? Why isn't my waist smaller and my ta-tas ginormous?" I thought I was ugly. But I was average, just like everyone else. I don't want my daughters playing with Barbie dolls and then come to think that they are ugly because they don't look like her when they get bigger. These Toddler dolls don't give them some false standard to live up to. They are just like my girls are now. I hope that this, in some way, will not hinder the wonder and beauty of design in which God created them in His image, but rather help them to understand that their unique appearance is a magnification of the glory of God.

The REAL Victimization of Women

Feminism has made women feel like they are victims of a male dominated patriarchal society and cultivated in her heart a sense of discontentment toward her role as the homemaker. Unless she is using her talents and skills outside of the home and making wages of her own, her value is less than that of, a man.

But in order for women to be free from the protection and security of the home, they must first gain a skill set to be used in the marketplace by going away to college. There they learn to gain the glory of man in a worldly definition of success. In college women must be taught to adopt a sense of autonomy apart from God, apart from Biblical submission to their parents & husbands and become their own person, ruling themselves as they see fit. After that, they must have some way of restricting the normative fruit of children through birth control.

Feminists must teach women to become bitter. They become bitter at God for creating them as women, the "weaker sex." Women get bitter at their husbands for caging them in, suppressing their talents and skills by confining them to the four walls of their home. And not only that, but become bitter also for the burden of children. Feminism must also provide a means to "fix" the problem of unplanned, unwanted pregnancy when it is inconvenient for the career goals that feminism thrusts at these women.

Feminism has also made women feel that their husbands and fathers no longer value their interests at the voting booths and pushed women to separate from their family unit to oppose, in the secret of the ballot box, the views of her husband. Women have separated themselves from the order of Creation by leaving her created role of helpmeet & mother in order to share Adam's curse. They have separated themselves physically from the protection of her family under her father and husband by going away to college or away to work. Women have separated themselves emotionally by becoming embittered at their husbands. Women have separated themselves from the future generation by not having many or any children and by not rearing them, i.e. leaving them in the hands of daycare or nannies. And women have separated themselves politically at the voting booths.

While feminism has truly set out to victimize the housewife, making her the target of their attacks. It's really the feminists that themselves have become the victims of attacks by the devil. When these women get old (and some men are feminists too) they are bitter as they look back over their lives and realize that their collection of dolls, stamps, 401K, IRA, etc. does not compare to the joy of grandchildren and children caring for you in your old age, their worldview comes to a head and they die bitter, lonely people. What a tragic existence - your whole life you chase after the glory of man and the idol of autonomy to see that after 50 years, there is nothing of lasting value to show for it. I pity the feminists. But not too much, they brought it upon themselves. Their worldview, for many, will die with them.

"Where Do You Work?" Asks the Young Man

Answers the middle-aged mother of three, "I stay home."

"Whew! That's a full-time job."

"Yeah. Full-time. Over time. All the time."

..........

Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.

Galatians 6:9

But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary of doing good.

2 Thessalonians 3:13

Here is what I have seen to be good and fitting: to eat, to drink and enjoy oneself in all one's labor in which he toils under the sun during the few years of his life which God has given him; fir this is his reward. Furthermore, as for every man to whom God has given riches and wealth, He has also empowered him to eat from them and to receive his reward and rejoice in his labor; this is the gift of God.

Ecclesiastes 5:18-19

Mommy-couragement

Last week Jeramy and I heard a sermon that really encouraged us from Mark 6:31-44. (The sermon is not yet uploaded on the website, but check back HERE to listen to this great message from God's Word.)

What I noticed in this passage is that Christ recognized their need for rest. Notice that they could not even eat in peace and they were constantly on the go. They were so physically and emotionally drained that they were crying out for rest and Christ recognized that. He even commanded that they go to the other side of the Sea of Galilee to rest. But instead of getting a much needed rest, they were met (or bombarded) with a great group of people. Instead of getting angry or bitter, it says that Christ had compassion on them!

When I need a break from the demands, whining and complaining of raising my children, finding compassion for them when my own physical needs are being neglected is difficult. (And I know that I'm not being pushed nearly as much as they probably were.) But the Holy Spirit encouraged me this afternoon with this passage from John chapter 14:

"Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do, he will do also; and greater works than these he will do; because I go to the Father.

Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son."

Because Christ has regenerated my heart and allowed me to have faith in Him, I am able to have compassion in those really tired draining moments. And I will be able to do works "even greater than these"!

Oh Lord, give me grace so that I may obey Your word and glorify Your name.

Our Task: Raise Ladies

It is wonderful to see that our daughters are very much aware of their sexual orientation as females. And upon this foundation we hope to continue building qualities that Christ would desire in godly ladies.

Femininity Our little girls are already very feminine. They love shoes and to express their wants for their daily attire. Moriah now loves to wear dresses and skirts almost everyday if I let her. (Sometimes I want to save a dress for church. :-) God's Word makes it very clear that our sexuality is in God's image and we should not distort His image.

God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Genesis 1:27

A woman must not wear men's clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this. Deuteronomy 22:5

Modesty When our girls dress modestly (and myself also!) it honors God. It forces people to look beyond their physical appearance to the character of their hearts. When women dress immodestly it is distracting and, truly, unattractive. There is a reason that prostitutes dress the way they do and we don't want to communicate those same signals. Modest dress is a visual sign of godliness.

Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness.

1 Timothy 2:9

Helping attitudes This is one of the reasons why God created the woman, to be man's helper. Our girls already demonstrate a strong desire to help and we want to continue to hone in on that. Some things they presume will be helpful but really are not, so we must teach them to maintain the same willingness to help, but to be more thoughtful and ask what would be the best help to others.

Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18

Nurturing, Mothering attitudes This is the second important reason that God created woman, to experience motherhood. The human race would not continue if she doesn't take up this call. Notice in the text that Eve was called "the mother of all the living" before she bore any children. Moriah loves to hold both Shiphrah and Lily's hands as a way to show affection and empathy. And it is very sweet and good. It honors us as her parents and I'm sure that it honors God also to display healthy, compassionate affection to her sisters.

Now the man called his wife's name Eve, because she was the mother of all the living. Genesis 3:20

Gratitude Always showing gratitude is a Christlike quality and it goes hand-in-glove with joy. But this attitude will only come about when they experience (if the Lord wills) the saving grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. No one wants to be around someone that is critical and complains all the time.

Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude. Colossians 2:6-7

And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Ephesians 5:18-21

Gentleness My honey describes gentleness this way: restrained strength. A woman has the ability to calm and comfort with soft touches and words. We harness more strength than we might think. Christ is described as being gentle, but He was not wimpy.

Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.

1 Peter 3:3-4

Submission I think that this is first an obedience issue, which we are trying to foster as faithful parents, second a trust issue and third a pride issue. Our girls must be taught to fear God, obey and trust Him. Out of that I believe that they will learn to do the same for their future husbands--submitting to their leadership with respect, trust and patience so that they won't become nagging manipulative wives, giving up their own claims to dominate their future marriages.

Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. James 4:7

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24

Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Colossians 3:18

Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored. Titus 2:3-5

Manners I consider that manners and etiquette are more than just some sign of elitism or refinement, but rather showing manners is the same as having consideration for others in our presence. It is a way that we can apply the command to love our neighbors. Listening well without interrupting, eating without attempting to do disgusting things at the table, giving others preference, and saying, "Please," and, "Thank you." I think that this helps instill humility in some ways also.

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor . . . Romans 12:10

So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith. Galatians 6:10

By no means would this be an exhaustive list. If you look at the context of all these passages included above, we would see many other character qualities that are encouraged for all ladies and men alike: generosity, hospitality, diligence, service and on and on. Of course all of this is void if God isn't present.

Unless the LORD builds the house, They labor in vain who build it;

Unless the LORD guards the city, The watchman keeps awake in vain.

Psalm 127:1

----

O Sovereign God, be with us and strengthen us for this task that can only be accomplished by Your grace and for Your glory. Amen

All Work & No Play Makes Moms Question Fertility

Since the birth of our third child under three years old, I've been debating what our next course of action would be concerning our fertility. This issue is such a sensitive one in our post-modern day after the rise of feminism and the birth control pill (and other reliable methods). Even in the Church the issue of fertility is treated as a private matter between each husband and wife and each couple is convinced of their individual position (which is necessary - I'm not here to point fingers or take sides). There is a delicate balance of obedience to "Be fruitful and multiply," and personal responsibility with a clean conscience.

When Jeramy and I were considering each other for marriage, he brought this issue to my attention and made his views known. At that time I reviewed the Biblical texts that discuss this, looked at all of the examples given to us in Scripture and decided to trust God that He opens and closes the womb as He sees fit and we would therefore not prevent conception.

Now that I have my work cut out for me, so to speak, I'm strongly reconsidering my previous decision. I want to continue to trust God with our fertility because I believe what God's Word says -- that He is good and He does good, and that He is trustworthy. The difficulty lies with the work and the stress involved in the discipline of my children. I'm an only child and I never had to deal with constantly fighting with a sibling for anything. Everything was either mine or my parents. There was no one else to blame when handprints in red paint ended up on the white walls. But with Moriah and Lily, both toddlers, it's almost like having twins. As soon as I discipline one for misbehaving, the other goes right behind and commits the same offense! They are always coveting the each other's toys and I am constantly acting as a referee. It's exhausting and it often makes me angry. I'm not the parent I envisioned when I was a single person and that makes me sad.

But when we take the time to go out and do something fun, I have a lot of joy watching them have fun! I could have stayed with them in the Creation Museum for hours watching them marvel at the different sights to see. Tonight both Grandmas and I took them to a Reformation Party at church and they had a wonderful time. Anytime I've taken them to the park and they slide down the slide and swing and watch ducks, etc. it's great! Really! But when we're at home, all day, the work beckons me to get it done and it must get done. Laundry piles up. Floors get gross. Tables must be cleaned. Bathrooms must be sanitized. Babies must be nursed. Food must be cooked. Errands must get ran. And it's the same thing every week. Sometimes it feels like adding one more thing is almost an imposition on any time there would be just to relax. Time for reading, blogging, sewing and any other hobbies is reduced and must be stolen away from sleep. Oh, if there was more time to do fun things as a family, then maybe this issue of fertility wouldn't be such a hard one.

A Quote for Mothers

What a gorgeous gift--the gift of birth--placed within the realm of woman's possibilities.

Think of it.

Bach's mother gave him the gift of birth.

Luther's mother gave him the gift of birth.

Michelangelo's mother gave him the gift of birth.

Beethoven's mother gave him the gift of birth.

Without the conscious choice to make this often costly gift of birth . . . the gifts individual people have brought into the stream of history could not have been given.

Edith Schaeffer

Feminism: A New Liberated Identity?

I'm almost finished reading Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood and this chapter by Dorothy Patterson was very good. Read the entire essay here or the whole book for free online here.

Bearing a new liberated identity, many women have devoted themselves to ambitious busyness everywhere but in the home. They are enmeshed in overwhelming voluntarism to achieve accolades and recognition in the community, or they are surrogate wives and mothers dedicated to hatching professional pursuits that promise power and pocketbook. Instead of encouraging adolescents to cut the apron strings of mother and venture out into society, we are begging mothers not to cut the apron strings on their babies and catapult them prematurely into a menacing world! Mom and hot apple pie have been replaced by institutional day care centers and cold apple turnovers at McDonald’s!

Women have been liberated right out of the genuine freedom they enjoyed for centuries to oversee the home, rear the children, and pursue personal creativity; they have been brainwashed to believe that the absence of a titled, payroll occupation enslaves a woman to failure, boredom, and imprisonment within the confines of home. Though feminism speaks of liberation, self-fulfillment, personal rights, and breaking down barriers, these phrases inevitably mean the opposite.2 In fact, the opposite is true because a salaried job and titled position can inhibit a woman’s natural nesting instinct and maternity by inverting her priorities so that failures almost inevitably come in the rearing of her own children and the building of an earthly shelter for those whom she loves most. The mundane accompanies every task, however high paying or prestigious the job, so that escape from boredom is not inevitable just because your workplace is not at home. And where is the time for personal creativity when you are in essence working two jobs—one at home and one away?

In our quest to be all we are meant to be, let us not forget what we are meant to be! The question has never been whether a woman wants the best for her husband and children and even for herself. Rather the real question is this: Is being someone’s wife and another’s mother really worth the investment of a life? Does it take preparation of skills, concentration of energies, and the commitment of both to keep a home? The secular presuppositions of the present age, as well as one’s own assumptions and priorities, must continually be tested against the sure written Word of God, which warns us, “. . . but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world” (1 John 4:1).

New Site and Giveaway

There is a new website called Raising Homemakers with several different contributors that serves to encourage mothers, daughters, grandmothers, etc. into training the next generation for this ministry of family. This is their first week launching this site. And to kick it off, they're having a giveaway that includes a fabulous DVD set of how to do various skills which would make our homes more self-sufficient. Here's a short preview of the material. Click on the link above and check it out.

Know Where to Look

Day after day, it's the same thing. Besides feeling like all your daily and weekly work is taken for granted and being emotionally and spiritually drained in trying to remain consistent in disciplining disobedient children, you feel like there are no rewards for all your labor.

Who recognizes your sacrifices? What regular wages do you receive for all your long hours and being on-call 24-seven? You work overtime and are not compensated. There are no days, holidays or weekends off. You are overworked and underpaid. Don't they know that you could have had a successful career? Don't they know how many hours of study you devoted to obtain levels of higher education? And for what? To change diapers, cook meals, fold laundry and sing The Alphabet Song 20 times a day besides listening to relentless whining and crying?

The rewards are there because you're doing ministry in faith.

Behold, children are a gift of the LORD,

The fruit of the womb is a reward.

Psalm 127:3

What about those giggles when the Tickle Monster attacks? What about those ear-t0-ear tooth filled smiles? What about those words that come unprovoked, "I love you, Mommy"? What about when they come up and beg to sit in your lap for a little "we time"? What about when people compliment you on how beautiful/handsome they are? Or how well-behaved they are? Or how clean they are? Or how smart they are? Or how about when your husband surprises you with your favorite ice cream? Or flowers? Or 10 lbs. of bacon? Or a foot or back rub?

When your children don't have temper tantrums in Wal-mart like other kids - that's a reward. When your children beg you to help you do your tasks and cry when they can't participate - that's a reward. As they've watched you go about all the many things you do, directly and indirectly for them, they see. They learn. It fosters in them already a mentality that they are not supposed to be idle. The helping desire and attitude they already exhibit - that's a reward. Any small little moment of joy that wells up in your heart when you realize that you are doing something right - that's a reward. When your children grow up and come to the point of tears at recalling how much you've done for them - that's a reward. When after 16 or even 18 years you see that you've successfully, by God's grace, reared responsible sanctified adults prepared to start families of their own, who are willing to now care for you when the time comes to do so. That's a reward. And at the end of it all, to hear those words, "Well done, my good and faithful servant," and see the crown and other heavenly rewards that accompany them. There is no greater reward.

A conversation between Eowyn and Aragorn in The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King:

'Shall I always be chosen?' she said bitterly. 'Shall I always be left behind when the Riders depart, to mind the house while they win renown, and find food and beds when they return?'

'A time may come soon,' said he, 'when none will return. Then there will be need of valour without renown, for none shall remember the deeds that are done in the last defence of your homes. Yet the deeds will not be less valiant because they are unpraised.'

.....

Hang in there. Keep going. Know where to look. Open your eyes - the rewards are there. They won't look like the rewards as the world defines them. They may not be as big, flashy or expensive. They might be small and meaningless in the world's economy. But these rewards are as God defines them and you might be the only one to notice.

The Will to Go On

How do you find the strength and the will to continue doing this role of wife and mother when you have no joy, no appreciation and no rewards? The will comes from the desire to obey God's Word, the hope that one day there will be joy, appreciation, rewards and, selfishly, the hope for relief and help. Even when you struggle in your will to remain faithful in your commitment to others, it is constrained by a greater desire to remain obedient to God - to be faithful to Him - by a fearful dread of His heavy hand of conviction should you decide and actually do escape your role.

In John 16:33 Jesus said,

"In the world you have tribulation, but take courage;

I have overcome the world."