Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts

February 1, 2013

Kid or Kindle?

There's a daycare located very close to our home that has a sign posted advertising the current special, "Enroll Now.  Free Kindle."

Now for those parents who use daycare and read a lot, this deal might be very appealing.

But for parents like my husband and I, we have to say, "Really?!  Are you serious?"

Let's take a moment to compare: Our children are made in the image of God.  They were created with immortal souls and, Lord willing, will live for decades to come.  We hope our children will care for us as we age and deteriorate.

Not so with the Kindle.  It is an electronic device, a gadget, without an immortal soul and will likely not be functional in even 10 years. 

So, trading our child for a Kindle is a no-brainer for us.  Our child has an infinite, priceless value and a Kindle just cannot compare. 

If I give you my child in exchange for the Kindle, you will be the one caring for her and she will turn out to be more loyal to you than to me, her flesh and blood.  She will more likely reject the responsibility of caring for me in the years ahead to chase after selfish pursuits.  That daycare is not going to teach my child the values I deem are important, like the fear and admonition of the Lord Jesus Christ, familial loyalty, and the intended created purpose of women: to be bearers and nurtures of the next generation keeping the home.  That daycare may very well teach them to hate God and exalt man, like the public schools. 

You can keep the Kindle.  I'll keep my child.


September 14, 2012

A Legacy

While nursing yesterday I spoke with Jeramy on the phone while he was at work.  Moriah and Lily were sitting on the floor opposite me waiting patiently for me to finish.  When I hung up the phone Moriah asked me where Daddy was and I told her that he was at work.  Then she said, "When I grow up I'm not going to work."  I was a little curious at first and didn't respond immediately.  Then she quickly said, "I'm going to stay home and breastfeed babies."  Then Lily looked at me and said the same thing.  The conversation then turned to how many babies they were each going to have - how many boys and how many girls.  

This unprompted conversation really gave me a lot of encouragement.  As you can imagine, it is very difficult to stay home and raise four children four years old and younger.  I find it especially difficult because I was raised for a career, not motherhood.  Christ has redeemed me from that misplaced priority and brought me home with my children.  Feminism is antithetical to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  In the Gospel we find eternality and we raise the next generation with generations ahead in mind.  Feminism and the post-modern worldview of our day tells us to look out only for ourselves in our own lifetime.  The goals of personal peace and affluence die with you.  But God calls us to raise the next generation to love and fear Him so that for generations, people might love and fear Him.  Those expressed goals of my daughters let's me know that, although I fail often to exercise the fruits of the Spirit, there is something honorable and God-glorifying that I'm imparting to my children.

May Christ be praised!

May 7, 2012

Are You Living Dangerously?

 

Dangerous housewives are those women who have chosen to stay home and make great financial sacrifices to do so.  Dangerous housewives are those who rear their own children and use their education to better educate their own children within the home forsaking a personal career.  We raise up the next generation of taxpayers and voters with conservative values and morals.  This "choice" is one that the Democrats and feminists don't want you to choose. 

Read Dangerous Housewives HERE.

May 1, 2012

Getting Your Children Interested in Music

I consider that there are two scenarios when it comes to parents who want to encourage their children toward an appreciation for music.  The first is that of musical parents, like myself, and the second would be for non-musical parents.  Non-musical parents would be those who do not regularly play an instrument, including voice, within their home, whether they have formal training or not.  For this second group of parents there are a lot of practical and inexpensive things you can do that might spark an interest in your child.  One of the most common ways is to coerce them to begin an instrument or lessons on something they don't initially show inclination towards.  Some parents might wait until the child begins to show an interest in something specific before moving forward toward the research and acquisition of an instrument, lessons, etc.

In my personal experience and after teaching for more than 10 years, I have found that the best students are those who are self-motivated and not coerced.  They love violin (or whatever) because they love it, not because their parents make them take it.  These students practice on their own, they enjoy it, they want to learn, they want to improve and parents don't have to continually nag them to go practice or stand over their shoulder while they do so.

A great way to encourage your child is by exposure.  The more they see and hear music, live and recorded, the more of an interest they are likely to take.  You can purchase music anywhere.  You can listen and watch for free on YouTube or borrowing materials from your local library.  There are lots of movies also with musician/instrumental themes, Music from the Heart (G or PG) and The Red Violin (PG mostly, but there is an R scene) come immediately to mind.  The former is based on a true story and the latter is fictional.

To expose your children to live music, there are a lot of venues that are local and free.  The public school system teaches musical arts beginning in elementary school through high school.  You can check websites to see if those musical events are listed on a calendar where you and your family can attend for little or no cost.  Sometimes these groups may perform outside of a public school building (for those of us who would prefer never to step inside another building again).

Local churches are also a great source of live music.  The larger churches, like First Baptist Atlanta, will have a full orchestra and 4-part choir.  They'll probably have teen and children's choirs also.  They will typically do special programs during high church days, like Christmas and Easter.  These programs often fall on days that don't conflict with your own regular church attendance. 

Conduct a Google search to find out what community orchestras perform locally.  John's Creek Orchestra is located there near Roswell and performs musical concerts for a ticket price.  There are also youth orchestras, like the Atlanta Youth Orchestra, where the kids that play are 18 and younger performing serious orchestral works for cheaper than tickets to the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra.  Many of the local community orchestras will charge for each adult and will usually discount for seniors and students.  They may admit children under a certain age for free.

 Summer is coming and many orchestras around the region may perform free summer concert series at smaller city downtown centers.  Norcross has an outdoor amphitheater at Thrasher Park and Lillian Webb Park and they will have local jazz, bluegrass, etc. bands play there on clear weekend nights and daytime festivals.  Some similar concerts take place in downtown Duluth and Suwanee also.  Oftentimes the concert schedules are posted online on the municipal websites.  Google is great search tool.

You might be able to arrange for a large group of several families to observe a rehearsal of the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra.  Check their website to see if they host any free events too.  Local music teachers may occasionally host recitals as a public venue for their students to gain performance experience.  These will most likely be free too.  The Anderson Music Studio is hosting one such free recital Friday, May 25th at 7:30p.m. at Christ Reformed Church (2209 Sunny Hill Rd, Lawrenceville).

If you have friends who are musical, ask kindly if they wouldn't mind playing something at your next get together and showing your children how the instrument works and entertaining any questions they may have.  

The most important advice I could give as a parent, teacher and former/continuing student is to discover the specific instrument (or voice) your child is interested in and encourage him or her in that direction.  If they love piano, let them do piano.  If they want to try trumpet, don't give them the flute instead.  Sounds simple, but some parents do just that.



January 22, 2012

Nutrititious Meals Abound

This is why my girls place in the lower 50% percentile for weight when they have check-ups at the doctor's office . . .



because we eat healthy meals at home.

On today's plate: p.b. & j sandwiches, carrots with a dot of ranch dressing, and an apple. Shiphrah has a shredded cheddar cheese sandwich and applesauce.

Providing healthy meals is a parent's responsibility.


January 17, 2012

Our Home Education 2012

This year's focus is on reading, writing and arithmetic. Here they are practicing writing the alphabet.



Last week Moriah read through 3 books by Margaret Hillert using the Dolch words we've been teaching her over the past year and a half. We've added the New England Puritan Primer to our curricula to help her learn the phonetics of the English language. Here is one of the Hillert books based on the story of Goldilocks & the Three Bears we borrowed from the library.





Lily has also been learning the Dolch sight words and has started the Primer also. We pick out new books every three weeks from the library and I'm trying to get her to recognize the words written on the pages.

The girls can easily add when there are pictures of objects. Moriah can also recognize compound numbers like, 35 or 57. I've backed off of this for the past few weeks while focusing on reading and writing. We've continued with the Children's Catechism and, for safety, I'm helping them to memorize their names, address, parent's names, and parent's phone numbers.



When we're not working on reading and writing, they work with puzzles, color in various mediums and do contributory household chores. It has been very exciting to see them as they've grown into this stage and I eagerly look forward to their success as this year progresses.

January 16, 2012

Spin In A Basket



Here's another reason why we don't buy them toys.

They took turns sitting and spinning each other in this laundry basket for about 15 minutes. They always seem to have so much fun with laundry baskets.

January 15, 2012

Best Books & Doc of 2011

This past year I was able to read several books and the following were the best:

Books:
Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp
This parenting book really delves into the motives and goals of parenting as it explains how all behavior is an overflow of the condition of the heart. In all of the parent's dealings with the child, the goal is to cause the child to see his or her inability to do a Christ as commanded, his need for forgiveness and atonement, and a changed heart that seeks to do God's will. Every disciplinary session is geared toward correcting the sinful behavior by targeting the heart. This book is highly recommended by David Powlison, John MacArthur, Elisabeth Elliot, and David Welch.

The Heart of Anger by Lou Priolo
This parenting book is subtitled, "Practical Help for the Prevention and Cure of Anger in Children." It exposes all the ways that parents provoke their children to anger and gives practical applications as to training up the child in the way he should go. It doesn't only correct wrong behavior and motives in the child, but teaches them to think and do what is right. As I read it, I began to understand not only the ways I provoke my children to anger, but it's even greater source, how my parents provoked me to anger. This is an excellent resource that should be read several times during a parenting journey, in the same way as Shepherding a Child's Heart. I would say that it is a very necessary companion to Tedd Tripp's book.

Marriage to a Difficult Man: The Uncommon Union of Jonathan & Sarah Edwards by Elisabeth Dodds
This has been one of the best books on marriage Jeramy and I have ever read. It is not a how-to book for marriage dummies, but a real example of a couple seeking to live for Christ and how they make their marriage glorify Him in the midst of early 1700's difficulties and trials. During this time most families were very self-sufficient. The Edwards owned animals and sheared their own sheep, made their own fabric and thread to sew their own clothes. They chopped their own wood, built their own house, hand washed all their clothes, traveled by walking or horse, cooked daily, cultivated a garden, canned their own garden foods, and home-birthed 11 children of which none died before reaching adulthood. They also endured many pressures from being a family in the spot light of ministry in a small, rural town. Jeramy and I learned a lot from this couple's interaction with each other and their children and how they made all this work together towards an incredible legacy. It is endorsed highly by John & Noel Piper.

Documentary:

IndoctriNation: Public Schools and the Decline of Christianity in America by The Gunn Brothers Productions
This documentary came out last year but I didn't get to view it until recently. It is incredible. It seeks to answer several very important questions, but the two prominent ones are: what is the history and progression of the public, government school system? (In other words, what are they really teaching these kids?) And can Christians be salt & light in this environment? Colin Gunn drives his family of 9 across country in a retired yellow school bus answering these questions by as he interviews several Christian teachers, administrators, parents and students who have been in the government school system for years.
If you remember Voddie Baucham's DVD sermon lectures entitled, Children of Caesar, you will recall that he addresses the issues of origin and whether Christians can truly be salt & light in this government school context. Gunn is able to spend 100 minutes delving into these questions that leave the born-again Christian parent with no other alternative but to forsake the government schooling and take responsibility for their child's education. Here is a memorable quote by RC Sproul, Jr., "If we're sending evangelists into the mission field and they return as atheists, then we need to consider that something is terribly wrong." (Something to that effect.)

I highly commend these to you. I've written some content and fresh reviews on this blog previously, simply do a search and those entries will arrive at your fingertips.

Currently I'm reading Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl and The Underground History of American Education by John Taylor Gatto. Gatto's book is particularly enraging as I learn about the goals and purpose of the government school system and how much of my time and vitality it wasted. Debi Pearl's book has a good content, but is a little too gimmicky for my taste. Many women have read it and told me to take it with a grain of salt.

December 27, 2011

The Rod


"He who withholds his rod hates his son,
But he who loves him disciplines him diligently."
Prov 13:24

"Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;
The rod of discipline will remove it far from him."
Prov 22:15

"Do not hold back discipline from the child,
Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die.
You shall strike him with the rod
And rescue his soul from Sheol."
Prov 23:13-14

"The rod and reproof give wisdom,
But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother."
Prov 29:15

We receive a lot of criticism for our use of the rod. But Scripture has made it clear that this is the instrument used to "rescue his soul from Sheol," to impart wisdom and to drive foolishness far from our children. We do not use the rod with anger and malice, but out of love. The more consistent I am to use it, the more infrequent my anger interferes with our discipline sessions.

When Jeramy answered phones for the police department, he would often get calls from the same parents wanting the police to come and discipline their misbehaving children. One child in particular was around 8 or 10 years old! What will happen when that child becomes older? Those parents will live with the shame of a lawless, disrespectful, insubordinate adult child who may end up dead or in prison. What a disservice Christian parents show their children when they don't discipline as the Scripture mandates, as often as needed. I love my children. I spank my children.

November 21, 2011

"Are You Crazy?!"

"You've got your hands full!"
"Are they twins?"
"Are they triplets?"
"You must be joking!"
"Don't you need a break?!"
"I don't know how you do it!"
"Better you than me!"
"You know, they make a pill for that."
"Are you part of some cult?!"
"You must be Catholic."

And other negative, presumptuous, pithy feminist comments.



I'm not going to lie. When Moriah was born, I had NEVER taken care of a newborn baby before. I didn't have any idea what I was doing and I struggled in my new role of mother just 9 months after committing to my new role as wife.

During Lily's pregnancy I was stressed out the whole time because our insurance company pinned us with the possibility of paying for all the prenatal, labor and delivery care out of pocket when we had no money. But the Lord answered our prayers and Lily came at the right time.

When Shiphrah was born, I was stressed and overwhelmed. I had two toddlers running around and a newborn that was obstinate against nursing and very gassy (colic). Quite literally I was about to lose my mind and thought often about doing just that. I prayed every time I fought Shiphrah to nurse that I wouldn't get pregnant again before she was 18 months old. I needed a break and I despaired at least 8 times a day. I cried all the time. Jeramy and I talked about taking a little break, but still in my conscience I considered that it was contrary to the decision I made before our wedding day - to give God control of our fertility - but for the sake of sanity, I would put that on hold.

As the months passed, I continued to pray in this way while struggling to decide whether or not to use contraception or let God answer in the way He wills. Month after month continued to go by and I became convinced that God was not going to answer this prayer and I had to be content getting pregnant again before Shiphrah turned 18 months. Then suddenly, one day Jeramy came home and changed his mind about contraception. It was like an answer to prayer.

However every time we came together, I felt the gnawing of the Holy Spirit that what we were doing was wrong. "This isn't what we decided to do 5 years ago. God says, "Children are a blessing . . . " not a burden. They are my life now. They are my vocation now. I pour myself into them, eternal souls, the next generation." Feminism teaches that children are burdens; they're too expensive; they impose on your freedoms and lots of other nonsense antithetical to the Gospel.

Also during this time, God did a significant work in sanctifying me more toward contentment. My role as wife and mother is difficult, but it is what God has called me to do and, by golly, I'll do it with all my might unto His glory. If I could spend hours in the practice room daily and on stage for the pursuit of some wooden box, then I could certainly use the last 10 years of my reproductive life to nurture the next generation of humanity.

What, specifically, lead to my decision? I considered that there are friends of mine who have not been blessed with children naturally. How selfish it was for me to prevent this blessing. Also I considered the many friends I have that prevented children from coming that now regret the children they didn't have. I also consider that the next 10 years of my reproductive life is brief compared to the 60 or 70 years total I might live. I further considered that I never know which pregnancy will be my last and menopause might come to me earlier than the average woman.

So now, I embrace however many children God will bless us with. Yes, it is hard. Yes, I pray for God's grace daily. Yes, I make mistakes. Yes, I get stressed out. No, my children are not a burden. No, I wouldn't trade them for anything. Yes, I know they're beautiful. No, you can't have any - not one. And when I'm old and dying in my bed, I'll look back over my life without regret in this area, knowing that I allowed God to do as He pleased with me, and I'll be satisfied.

November 19, 2011

Provocative Parents

Currently I'm reading a book by Lou Priolo entitled, "The Heart of Anger: Practical Help for the Prevention and Cure of Anger in Children." This work is endorsed by John MacArthur and Jay E. Adams, it's really very good and easily applies to every family. This is one of the best parenting works I've ever read. I highly recommend it to every parent.

Based on Ephesians 6:4, "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord," Priolo gives parents practical ways that they wittingly and unwittingly provoke their children to anger. After reading this I see how most every parent provokes their children to wrath, how I provoke my children and how my parents and grandparents provoked me. Now I understand better the phrase, " . . . visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and on the third and fourth generations . . . " (Ex 20:5, 34:7, Num 14:18, and Deu 5:9).

  1. Lack of Marital Harmony. (Gen 2:24 and Heb 12:15) Children can be angered when parents do not live in Biblical harmony.
  2. Establishing and Maintaining a Child-Centered Home. (Prov 29:15) "The child perceives that the entire family exists essentially to please and make him or her happy. Mother, Father and siblings exist only to serve and meet the child's needs and desires." (28)
  3. Modeling Sinful Anger. (Prov 22:24-25)
  4. Habitually Disciplining While Angry. (Ps 38:1, Eph 4:26-27 and Jas 1:19-20) When parents are angry, it is tempting to over-discipline. Your child might perceive this as a vindictive personal attack.
  5. Scolding. (Eph 4:29 and Mark 14:3-5) "To snort with anger" or it "is always an expression of a bad spirit and of a loss of temper . . . the essence of the scolding is in the multiplication of hot words in expression of strong feelings that, while eminently natural, ought to be held in better control." (34)
  6. Being Inconsistent with Discipline. (2 Cor 1:17-18 and Ecc 8:11) Either by differing parental standards or vacillating from day to day on what is punishable and/or how severe the punishment should be.
  7. Having Double Standards. (Phil 4:9) Hypocritical parents who do not practice what they preach.
  8. Being Legalistic. (Matt 15:8-9) Failure to discern for the child the difference between God's Rules and Parent's house/family rules.
  9. Not Admitting You're Wrong and Not Asking for Forgiveness. (Matt 5:23-24 and Jas 5:16) It's difficult for parents to admit when we're wrong, but we must swallow that humble pie and point our children to Christ as the perfect example.
  10. Constantly Finding Fault. (Job 32:2-3 and Prov 19:11) This is a "critical, condemning, accusing, judgmental attitude" where the child ends up believing that there is nothing he or she can do to win the parents approval.
  11. Parents Reversing God-Given Roles. (Eph 5:22-24) "Wives tend to become embittered over husbands not managing their homes as the Bible directs. Husbands tend to become embittered and lose respect for wives who are not fulfilling their God-given roles." In other words, male headship and wifely submission.
  12. Not Listening to Your Child's Opinion or Taking His or Her "Side of the Story" Seriously. (Prov 18:3 and 17) Parent and child may not agree but in order for the parent to correct the child, you need to understand his perspective to guide him to the truth.
  13. Comparing Them to Others. (2 Cor 10:12) Don't compare them to other children. You may compare them to Biblical standards of maturity in Christ or to their former manner of living to demonstrate 'how far they've come'.
  14. Not Making Time "Just to Talk". (Jas 1:19 and Ecc 3:7) Build your relationship with honest and open communication.
  15. Not Praising or Encouraging Your Child. (Rev 2:2-4)
  16. Failing to Keep Your Promises. (Matt 5:37, Ps 15:4-5 and Col 3:9)
  17. Chastening in Front of Others. (Matt 18:15) Some parents think humiliation helps modify their child's behavior, but over time, it will provoke them.
  18. Not Allowing Enough Freedom. (Jas 3:17 and Luke 12:48) Children need to demonstrate responsibility, faithfulness and trust.
  19. Allowing Too Much Freedom. (Prov 29:15, Gal 4:1-2, and Heb 12:6-9) Problems develop if children habitually practice sin, don't demonstrate appropriate levels of responsibility and maturity or live an undisciplined life.
  20. Mocking Your Child. (Job 17:1-2 and Ex 4:11) Teasing about "inadequacies about which the child can do nothing" and joking about sinful behavior are both unbiblical.
  21. Abusing Them Physically. (1 Tim 3:3 and Num 22:27-29) Children are not to be treated like animals and parents must control their anger.
  22. Ridiculing or Name Calling. (Eph 4:29)
  23. Unrealistic Expectations. (1 Cor 13:11) Children are not adults and need time to develop.
  24. Practicing Favoritism. (Luke 15:25-30)
  25. Child Training with Worldly Methodologies Inconsistent with God's Word. (Eph 6:4) This refers to man-made pop psychology, behavior modification and cognitive therapy techniques which replace Christ with human wisdom.


June 27, 2011

"Where Do You Work?" Asks the Young Man

Answers the middle-aged mother of three, "I stay home."

"Whew! That's a full-time job."

"Yeah. Full-time. Over time. All the time."

..........

Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.
Galatians 6:9

But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary of doing good.
2 Thessalonians 3:13

Here is what I have seen to be good and fitting: to eat, to drink and enjoy oneself in all one's labor in which he toils under the sun during the few years of his life which God has given him; fir this is his reward. Furthermore, as for every man to whom God has given riches and wealth, He has also empowered him to eat from them and to receive his reward and rejoice in his labor; this is the gift of God.
Ecclesiastes 5:18-19


June 3, 2011

Nurture: a Definition

  1. Training; upbringing.
  2. Something that nourishes: food.
  3. The sum of the environmental factors influencing the behavior and traits expressed by an organism.
  4. To help the growth or development of.
  5. To provide (someone) with moral or spiritual understanding.
  6. To supply with nourishment.
Origin: from Late Latin nutritura act of nursing, from Latin nutritus, past participle nutrire to suckle, nourish.

Synonyms:


If ever I thought I were a perfectionist, all that ceased when I became a parent.

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but nurture them in the chastening and admonition of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:4 ASV

January 24, 2011

A Little Momma

Moriah has been picking up everything I do, from social interactions to how I do normal everyday tasks. I'm pretty sure that she's always done that. She even mimics my tone of voices, and (horribly) my poor attitudes. She has earned the nickname, Mimi, short for mini-Me.

She has been watching carefully how I play with Shiphrah. She imitates it almost exactly the same as I do. There was one occasion where Shiphrah was laying by herself on a bed or in the bouncing seat and Moriah comes up to her and does the same funny baby faces that she's seen me do. Shiphrah eats this up and will readily laugh at her just like she does at me! And I'm watching the two of them and laughing myself! I pray that when the time comes, she will be a well-prepared, gracious, content Momma.


January 8, 2011

Mommy-couragement

Last week Jeramy and I heard a sermon that really encouraged us from Mark 6:31-44. (The sermon is not yet uploaded on the website, but check back HERE to listen to this great message from God's Word.)

What I noticed in this passage is that Christ recognized their need for rest. Notice that they could not even eat in peace and they were constantly on the go. They were so physically and emotionally drained that they were crying out for rest and Christ recognized that. He even commanded that they go to the other side of the Sea of Galilee to rest. But instead of getting a much needed rest, they were met (or bombarded) with a great group of people. Instead of getting angry or bitter, it says that Christ had compassion on them!

When I need a break from the demands, whining and complaining of raising my children, finding compassion for them when my own physical needs are being neglected is difficult. (And I know that I'm not being pushed nearly as much as they probably were.) But the Holy Spirit encouraged me this afternoon with this passage from John chapter 14:

"Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do, he will do also; and greater works than these he will do; because I go to the Father.

Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son."

Because Christ has regenerated my heart and allowed me to have faith in Him, I am able to have compassion in those really tired draining moments. And I will be able to do works "even greater than these"!

Oh Lord, give me grace so that I may obey Your word and glorify Your name.


December 3, 2010

Funny Friday: Sleep Sayings

After I've changed diapers and tucked my older girls into their beds, then I remind them of their sleep duties.

"Be quiet.
Stay in the bed.
Leave the curtains alone.
Keep your clothes on.
Go to sleep.
I love you, goodnight."


November 26, 2010

Three For Three

Three pregnancies in three years of marriage since 3/3/2007.
Three deliveries for three baby girls.
Three children from three years to three months old.
Three heads of curly hair to comb.
Three kisses for three girls from Daddy before 3 p.m.
My third baby girl turned three months the third week of November.
And today Moriah (3 syllables) turns three years old! Happy Birthday!

Currently we are in Register/Statesboro visiting The Anderson's for Thanksgiving. Jeramy is on Stay-cation at home because he had to work. Pictures will follow some time after we get home tomorrow.

November 15, 2010

Our Task: Raise Ladies

It is wonderful to see that our daughters are very much aware of their sexual orientation as females. And upon this foundation we hope to continue building qualities that Christ would desire in godly ladies.

Femininity Our little girls are already very feminine. They love shoes and to express their wants for their daily attire. Moriah now loves to wear dresses and skirts almost everyday if I let her. (Sometimes I want to save a dress for church. :-) God's Word makes it very clear that our sexuality is in God's image and we should not distort His image.

God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Genesis 1:27

A woman must not wear men's clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this. Deuteronomy 22:5

Modesty When our girls dress modestly (and myself also!) it honors God. It forces people to look beyond their physical appearance to the character of their hearts. When women dress immodestly it is distracting and, truly, unattractive. There is a reason that prostitutes dress the way they do and we don't want to communicate those same signals. Modest dress is a visual sign of godliness.

Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness.
1 Timothy 2:9

Helping attitudes This is one of the reasons why God created the woman, to be man's helper. Our girls already demonstrate a strong desire to help and we want to continue to hone in on that. Some things they presume will be helpful but really are not, so we must teach them to maintain the same willingness to help, but to be more thoughtful and ask what would be the best help to others.

Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18

Nurturing, Mothering attitudes This is the second important reason that God created woman, to experience motherhood. The human race would not continue if she doesn't take up this call. Notice in the text that Eve was called "the mother of all the living" before she bore any children. Moriah loves to hold both Shiphrah and Lily's hands as a way to show affection and empathy. And it is very sweet and good. It honors us as her parents and I'm sure that it honors God also to display healthy, compassionate affection to her sisters.

Now the man called his wife's name Eve, because she was the mother of all the living. Genesis 3:20

Gratitude Always showing gratitude is a Christlike quality and it goes hand-in-glove with joy. But this attitude will only come about when they experience (if the Lord wills) the saving grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. No one wants to be around someone that is critical and complains all the time.

Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude. Colossians 2:6-7

And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Ephesians 5:18-21

Gentleness My honey describes gentleness this way: restrained strength. A woman has the ability to calm and comfort with soft touches and words. We harness more strength than we might think. Christ is described as being gentle, but He was not wimpy.

Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
1 Peter 3:3-4

Submission I think that this is first an obedience issue, which we are trying to foster as faithful parents, second a trust issue and third a pride issue. Our girls must be taught to fear God, obey and trust Him. Out of that I believe that they will learn to do the same for their future husbands--submitting to their leadership with respect, trust and patience so that they won't become nagging manipulative wives, giving up their own claims to dominate their future marriages.

Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. James 4:7

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24

Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Colossians 3:18

Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored. Titus 2:3-5

Manners I consider that manners and etiquette are more than just some sign of elitism or refinement, but rather showing manners is the same as having consideration for others in our presence. It is a way that we can apply the command to love our neighbors. Listening well without interrupting, eating without attempting to do disgusting things at the table, giving others preference, and saying, "Please," and, "Thank you." I think that this helps instill humility in some ways also.

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor . . . Romans 12:10

So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith. Galatians 6:10

By no means would this be an exhaustive list. If you look at the context of all these passages included above, we would see many other character qualities that are encouraged for all ladies and men alike: generosity, hospitality, diligence, service and on and on. Of course all of this is void if God isn't present.

Unless the LORD builds the house, They labor in vain who build it;
Unless the LORD guards the city, The watchman keeps awake in vain.
Psalm 127:1

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O Sovereign God, be with us and strengthen us for this task that can only be accomplished by Your grace and for Your glory. Amen

October 31, 2010

All Work & No Play Makes Moms Question Fertility

Since the birth of our third child under three years old, I've been debating what our next course of action would be concerning our fertility. This issue is such a sensitive one in our post-modern day after the rise of feminism and the birth control pill (and other reliable methods). Even in the Church the issue of fertility is treated as a private matter between each husband and wife and each couple is convinced of their individual position (which is necessary - I'm not here to point fingers or take sides). There is a delicate balance of obedience to "Be fruitful and multiply," and personal responsibility with a clean conscience.

When Jeramy and I were considering each other for marriage, he brought this issue to my attention and made his views known. At that time I reviewed the Biblical texts that discuss this, looked at all of the examples given to us in Scripture and decided to trust God that He opens and closes the womb as He sees fit and we would therefore not prevent conception.

Now that I have my work cut out for me, so to speak, I'm strongly reconsidering my previous decision. I want to continue to trust God with our fertility because I believe what God's Word says -- that He is good and He does good, and that He is trustworthy. The difficulty lies with the work and the stress involved in the discipline of my children. I'm an only child and I never had to deal with constantly fighting with a sibling for anything. Everything was either mine or my parents. There was no one else to blame when handprints in red paint ended up on the white walls. But with Moriah and Lily, both toddlers, it's almost like having twins. As soon as I discipline one for misbehaving, the other goes right behind and commits the same offense! They are always coveting the each other's toys and I am constantly acting as a referee. It's exhausting and it often makes me angry. I'm not the parent I envisioned when I was a single person and that makes me sad.

But when we take the time to go out and do something fun, I have a lot of joy watching them have fun! I could have stayed with them in the Creation Museum for hours watching them marvel at the different sights to see. Tonight both Grandmas and I took them to a Reformation Party at church and they had a wonderful time. Anytime I've taken them to the park and they slide down the slide and swing and watch ducks, etc. it's great! Really! But when we're at home, all day, the work beckons me to get it done and it must get done. Laundry piles up. Floors get gross. Tables must be cleaned. Bathrooms must be sanitized. Babies must be nursed. Food must be cooked. Errands must get ran. And it's the same thing every week. Sometimes it feels like adding one more thing is almost an imposition on any time there would be just to relax. Time for reading, blogging, sewing and any other hobbies is reduced and must be stolen away from sleep. Oh, if there was more time to do fun things as a family, then maybe this issue of fertility wouldn't be such a hard one.