The following is the second portion of notes given from Brian Dempsey, the teaching elder at Christ Reformed Church, Lawrenceville GA. This study has impacted me and I just wanted to share. :-)
What Makes Us Angry That Shouldn't
- Violation of rights
- Disappointment with station in life
- Blocked goals
- Irritations
- Feeling misunderstood
- Unrealistic expectations
- Pathological/Psychological
Responding to Anger
- Keep control. "A fool always loses his temper, But a wise man holds it back." Proverbs 29:11, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23
- Overlook offenses. "A man's discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression." Proverbs 19:11
- Avoid angry men. "Do not associate with a man given to anger; Or go with a hot-tempered man, Or you will learn his ways And find a snare for yourself." Proverbs 22:24-25
- Appease anger. "A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1
In what ways do we sinfully express anger?
A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.
Proverbs 29:11
A man of wrath stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes much transgression.
Proverbs 29:22
A man of quick temper acts foolishly, and a man of evil devices is hated.
Proverbs 14:17
What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.
James 4:1-2
Bitterness, fits of anger, sullenness, harsh words, overreactions, striking out, argumentativeness, profanity, resentment, withdrawal of affection/presence, etc.
How do we keep from sinning when we are angry?
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
James 1:19-20
Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
Proverbs 19:11
But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.
Colossians 3:8
A soft answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 15:1
Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.
Proverbs 16:32
A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.
Proverbs 25:28
Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.
Ephesians 6:11
When anger is present, no matter if the cause is offense from personal, selfish motives or holy, righteous ones, the response/expression of anger should be righteous. Our anger should propel us to do something righteous that will glorify God. We must learn to act with wisdom, discretion and self-control.
Do not let the sun go down on your anger. It doesn't mean that the issue must be resolved before bedtime - but to check the status of your attitude so that you are not responding with a sinful attitude even if the dispute/discussion continues for some time. Your attitude before God must be one that pleases him.
Venting anger and frustration only exacerbates the habit and practice of responding sinfully in anger. These are the fits and outbursts of wrath that are deeds of the flesh listed in Galatians 5:19-21. Those who practice these things do not inherit eternal life. Christ came and died to sin that we would be free from the bondage of sin.
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