When an opportunity permits, I am continuing to read Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. I just finished reading chapter 10 with the above title. It is an exegetical study on 1 Peter 3:1-7 by Wayne Grudem. This was very meaningful for me because it speaks primarily of a wife's submission. Here is a brief outline of the 14-page chapter.
I. Directions to Wives
A. What Submission Does Not Mean
1. Submission does not mean putting a husband in the place of Christ.
2. Submission does not mean giving up independent thought.
3. Submission does not mean a wife should give up efforts to influence and guide her husband.
4. Submission does not mean a wife should give in to every demand of her husband. This is consistent with other passages where God's people have disobeyed a human authority and been approved by God for so doing.
5. Submission is not based on lesser intelligence or competence.
6. Submission does not mean being fearful or timid.
7. Submission is not inconsistent with equality in Christ. A wife's submission to her husband therefore is more like the submission of Christ to God the Father (1 Corinthians 15:28), the submission of one to another who is equal in importance and essence.
B. What Submission Does Mean
1. Submission is an inner quality of gentleness that affirms the leadership of the husband. A wife willingly submits to her husband's authority and leadership in the marriage, making a choice to affirm her husband's leadership within the limits of obedience to Christ. It includes a demeanor that honors him as leader even when she dissents. The "gentle and quiet spirit" is not insistent on one's own rights, is not pushy or selfishly assertive and does not demand one's own way. Such a "gentle and quiet spirit" is the result of continual trust in God to supply one's needs and God delights in being trusted.
2. Submission involves obedience like Sarah's. This is imitating the pattern of submission and trust in God she exhibited.
3. Submission acknowledges an authority that is not totally mutual. This is more of a mutual consideration and deference that means that the husband is to be unselfish in his exercise of leadership in the family and the wife is to be unselfish in her submission to and support of that leadership. The husband is never told by NT authors to submit to his wife.
C. The Old Testament Examples of Submission
The lives of holy women who hoped in God adorned themselves with a gentle and quiet spirit. The verb tenses in Greek indicate a repeated action over time, in other words, they were continually adorning themselves in this way.
D. The Rewards of Submission
The rewards Peter mentions are that the unbelieving husband may be won to Christ and the believing wives will be daughters of Sarah, sharing in the special dignity, honor and God's special approval that she received. The greatest reward will be the combined joy of honoring God and receiving His favor.
E. The Universal Rightness of a Wife's Submission to Her Husband
The attractiveness of a wife's submissive behavior even to an unbelieving husband suggests that God has inscribed on the hearts of all mankind the rightness and beauty of role distinctions in marriage.
F. The Beauty of Submission
Submission to rightful authority is beautiful and right in God's eyes. Specifically within marriage, the beauty of a wife's submission is evident to unbelievers, who are attracted to Christ through it. The beauty of this submission is evident to God, in whose eyes it is of great worth.
II. Directions to Husbands
A. What Considerate Leadership Is Not
1. Considerate leadership does not mean harsh or domineering use of authority.
2. Considerate leadership does not imply equal sharing of leadership in the family.
3. Considerate leadership does not imply lesser importance for a wife.
4. Considerate leadership does not mean always giving in to a wife's wishes.
5. Considerate leadership is not optional for husbands.
B. What Considerate Leadership Is
This is "living together according to knowledge" which may include anything that is beneficial to the marital relationship gained through study in the Word and private fellowship as a married couple. It also signifies the giving of honor just as God does to those who are weaker or less honored in the world's perspective.
C. The Reasons for Considerate Leadership
(1) Because there are differences between the husband and wife - she is more vulnerable to being hurt by a selfish, domineering husband. (2) The husband and wife have equal standing before God in terms of eternal salvation.
D. The Rewards of Considerate Leadership
The prayer ministry of the husband will not be hindered but helped and God will answer them.
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