February 22, 2010

Do Many Parents Envy Their Children?

This may seem like a bizarre question, "Where is this coming from?"

Think about it: how many parents try to give their children experiences they never had in their own upbringing?

For my mother, she wanted me to have a safe home with material comforts she never had. She wanted me to have the education she never had and probably other things that I may not now know of. She grew up in a large family with 5 siblings and an alcoholic father, not knowing from day to day how much food would be on the table for dinner that night. Well, she achieved her purpose in this regard: my father was not at all abusive, we had plenty of food to go around and I went to college and grad school.

And the cycle continues into the next generation. For my daughters I desire that they have a (1) physically and emotionally involved father, (2) a solid Christian home, (3) siblings, (4) discipline and teaching that direct them always to the Word and God's desire of us, and (5) that they would have a knowledge, desire and equipment towards Biblical Womanhood. So far, the first through the third are covered and the others will come with time as they grow.

As parents, the responsibility to raise our children rest on our shoulders. But I feel a faint sense of envy, because I had none of these things growing up - and I wish so much that I had. Perhaps I would be less selfish, self-centered, more equipped for this task of stay-at-home mothering, and, perhaps first of all, be a better example of Christ to them. But it's never good to wonder, "what if . . .?" We can't change the past. Live for Christ today, as though it were the last day. . . . Another day, another opportunity . . .


The Culbertsons said...

I completely resonate with what you are saying. Even though I wasn't raised the way I want my children to be raised (my parents divorced when I was 5), I'm thankful for the Lord's grace from a very young age and that He kept me from wandering from the faith. Thankful the Lord has opened my eyes to teach my children His ways and not man's ways!

Anonymous said...

Very thought provoking post. For my children, I too wanted a physically and emotionally involved father.

I'm not sure I really like the word envy.

Envy-a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success,
possessions, etc.

But I must say there are a lot of things about my upbringing that I feel discontent about. Good Post!