April 19, 2009

Confessions of a Contentious Woman

I am a contentious woman. I am quick to become angry at the ones I am supposed to love most. I remember offenses all too easily. I fight bitterness daily and all too often give in to it's unforgiving spirit. As this sin festers inside my heart, as offenses increase, I become reclusive and cut off all but necessary communication. I nag my husband and, in forgetfulness, become ungrateful for the tasks he does willingly undertake. I am self-centered and selfish. I am strong-willed and stubborn. I am vain and proud. I am a glutton for the sweet and the salty, crunchy and soft. I want to be in control of everything that concerns me and be independent. Don't second-guess my decisions or actions and let me vindicate myself now.

Oh, how I hate this body of death! Lord Jesus, come and rescue me from it's presence and influence! Let me walk with You in Your glory, full of holiness and righteousness! I don't want any part of this woman any longer! She brings no joy, no hope, and no peace! I want to be a gracious woman but the flesh gives no power for heart transformation.

How could it be that God, before the beginning of time, could have chosen to save me - a completely helpless, rebellious, awful sinner?! Of all people, I am the least that deserves to be saved from His wrath. What humility this incurs.

The covenant love of God's foreknowledge seals my salvation from spiritual death by the kindness of His grace. The sacrifice of Christ applies His grace, from the first action of new birth to the last. Justification in Christ alone, declares that I'm not guilty of all this, my sin. Sanctification into the image of Christ brings me hope. The fellowship of godly, transparent, gracious women (of whom there are so few) encourages my spirit. The resurrection and glorification bring me hope of rescue from this body of death.

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