Funny Friday

You might be a nursing mother . . .

• if you idolize sleep;
• if you take 20 minute hot showers 5 times a day;
  
• if you and the baby are fussy before a feeding and sleepy after;
• if your baby and your husband have trouble maintaining eye contact with you;
• if your nightmares consist of running, jumping, bending over and speed bumps;
• if you're hesitant to hug people;
• if you have trouble locating your arm pits;
• if you do nothing but cross your arms in public;
• if you adjust your bra straps 8 to 12 times a day;
• if you now need assistance to reach top shelves;
• if your walk resembles a body builder;
• if the absorbent materials in your purse could stop a neighborhood flood;
• if you consider the multi-purpose functions of Chapstick;
• if you inadvertently say "moo" while pumping;
• if you and your infant never part; and
  
• if you wake your sleeping infant during the night.