A Gentle & Quiet Spirit

For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, WHO COMMITTED NO SIN, NOR WAS ANY DECEIT FOUND IN HIS MOUTH; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. For you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls.

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.

1 Peter 2:21 - 3:6

Lately the Holy Spirit has been using this passage to convict me about the general attitude women should display as we go about our daily lives. The gentle and quiet spirit is more than just an outward behavior, this spirit arises out of authentic feminine, Christ-like character as evidence of a transformed heart.

These holy women from the past were not contentious. The gentle and quiet spirit doesn't nag and insist upon selfish methods or priorities. This woman is not bent on having her husband fulfill her personal agenda on her own time line. She doesn't turn a cold shoulder or make others feel uncomfortable in her presence by harboring an angry, bitter attitude. She doesn't seek to vindicate herself when wronged but instead forgives much and lets offenses committed against her pass to the righteous judgement of God. She is not fearful and she only values God's opinion of her.

This woman is full of joy and depends on the abundant grace of God, communicating such grace in her marital relationship. She is content with little or much and trusts fully in Christ, being satisfied by His fullness alone, and as she submits to her husband, trusts him also. She maintains an eternal perspective of her priorities and responsibilities. She is self-controlled and restrained. She understands her personal accountability before our Almighty Judge to conduct herself in this manner regardless of how she is treated, even if her husband is not a believer . . . especially if her husband is not a believer because that is her witness of the Gospel to him.

Nagging is the best way to communicate disrespect and emasculate our husbands. After a while they begin ignoring what we say letting all our words pass over their heads. Some men might respond with perpetual silence becoming emotionally and physically distant and others at the opposite extreme might even resort to physical abuse. Nagging is the primary way to tear down our houses with our own hands (Proverbs 14:1).

The chapter, Wives Like Sarah and the Husbands Who Honor Them, in Recovering Biblical Manhood & Womanhood by Wayne Grudem exposits this text, which is an excellent read. My friend Erin at A Full Heart copied an awesome list of "A Woman's Rules to Live By".