The Contentious Woman

I have meditated and pondered what is the heart condition of contentious women (namely, myself primarily and others generally).  I considered that the sinful root of contention in women is the prideful desire for control.  I analyze my own sinful tendencies, particularly my thoughts, speech and anger.  What causes me to get angry, think sinful thoughts and lash out nagging comments?  The desire for control.  For example: I prefer to keep our home clean, neat and orderly - everything in it's place.  It aides in the ability for everyone to find what they need, when they need it.  When anyone or anything interferes - dirty dishes in the living room, clothes draped on the bed rails, crumbs on the kitchen counter, etc. - then immediately I have the tendency to get annoyed.  Perhaps I'll say something (nag) or not and keep all this bottled up inside.

The desire for control was part of the consequence of the Fall.  Your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you.  (Gen 3:16)  I always thought that this desire would look like idolatry, that the woman would desire the man.  But the real interpretation of this is that the woman would desire the man's position as head of the household.  She wants control.  How was it that Man fell into sin?  Satan went to the woman, not the man.  The woman first created to submit perfectly was now given the opportunity to lead in a way contrary to her divine role.

I recognize that the desire for me to be in control is sin.  Not only does it produce all kinds of anger and bitterness when circumstances do not happen my way, but I also struggle with anxiety over what I cannot control.  Nagging is the attempt to control other's actions by constant reminders, tone of voice, choice and timing of words.  Come to think of it, everyone hates to be nagged and when they are, they easily recognize it.  But when I nag, I don't recognize it so easy.

I have also realized, first in regards to childbearing, that the opposite of the controlling desire is the desire/ability to trust that God is in complete control.  And not only that He is omnipotent but completely and utterly trustworthy.  He upholds the universe, I think that He can take care of all the things I worry about and try to control that really aren't in my control.  I can't control whether or not I take my next breath.  I can't control whether my toddler throws food on the floor.  I can discipline her, but I can't make her stop doing it.

In the same vain I am responsible to be a good steward of the realm in which God commanded that we take dominion, but fully realizing that God is the owner, operator and complete controller of all things.  This balance is difficult to find and maintain, but I know that God's grace is sufficient for ALL things.  The strength will not come from me, it will come from Christ.  Believing is one thing, walking in this is another.  By God's grace alone . . . 

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving  let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.  

Philippians 4:6-8